Dork Reports

I seem to be pretty good at getting away from or deciding agaist going to places right before something bad happens. This might be the statement that will jinx me and haunt me forever but let’s just say disasters ain’t got nothin’ on me.

Loma Prieta earthquake: Okay, so I didn’t avoid this one, but I was young and the damages we suffered were fairly superficial. Eating all the popsicles with the neighborhood kids before they melted was a good memory. Camping in our cleared out family room was memorable as well.

Florida trip: Hurricane Andrew didnt ruin our DisneyWorld vacation. Poochie was hit by a car at home though.

New York trip: Left NYC on 9/9/01. Missed the chaos and total flight shut downs that followed. I still can’t remember if I ever saw the WTC while out there. Oh well. Told you I’m bad at sightseeing.

Oregon: So the great Pacific Northwest heatwave of summer 2009 might not be a natural disaster, and I certainly didn’t miss out on getting trapped in ten days of hellish heat. But the day we decided to leave Portland early to head to Seattle because we wanted to be in my air-conditioned car eventually led us to a Dairy Queen stop. Right after, we hit about two hours of “debris” caused traffic. At first, we were annoyed. But then we drove by rank smelling animal parts and realized a rendering truck had overturned. We figured out the timeline and realized DQ probably “saved our lives” and/or prevented us from repeatedly throwing up in my car because we were trapped directly behind the truck spill in 102 degree weather. Better to be two hours of cleanup behind the mess than be in the mess!

Peru: Decided against going due to the wet season and potential landslides and avoided the worst landslides in recent history that resulted in Machu Picchu closing for months. I’m glad I also missed out on getting stranded with thousands of other muddy and wet tourists, though getting rescued by helicopter would have been a good story to tell.

Chile: Left Chile three weeks earlier than scheduled, with hopes of getting my flight bumped for an upgrade/flight credit. Good thing I came home early because my original flight was at 11:55 pm on Feb. 26, roughly 3.5 hours before an 8.8 earthquake struck.

If offered a deal for getting bumped, I would have taken it, gone back home, been scared and shaking while watching “House” as the giant TV fell off the stand, alone in the dark, and then marooned for who knows how long since Santiago’s airport is closed due to damage. Not worth it!

The good news is my friends and their familes are okay. Hopefully their places didn’t suffer too much damage. And hopefully I’ll continue to avoid misery in the years to come. Well, at least avoid natural disasters and terrorism-caused misery, since life will probably continue to take care of the rest.